Why your self worth affects your goals
Recently there has been a big theme presenting itself within my 1:1 coaching sessions. We'll be discussing the person's beautiful goal, that obviously means so much to them, and when we get to the part where I ask them why they haven't done it already, we hit a mammoth block. One I think you'll relate to.
Self Worth
It doesn't matter whether the goal is about finances, fitness or friendships, if you don't believe you are worthy, you will never realise it.
Are you more comfortable living pay check to pay check because you think that's the level of financial stability 'a person like me' is capable of having? Do you see some of your friends tap, tap, tapping their card buying stuff without having to check their bank balance and think 'that'll never be me - I'm just not from that world'?
Do you look at people who go jogging… for fun and think 'weirdo!' 'I'm not a natural runner' or 'I'm too lazy for that, I could never'? Do you secretly wonder what it must feel like to move freely like you did when you were a child?
When you see people enjoying happy, healthy relationships are you jealous? Does your inner critic tell you that you're not pretty enough, chill enough or fun enough to sustain a long-term, loving relationship?
You get what you deserve. If you truly believe that you aren't deserving of financial stability, the freedom to move your body care free or to love and be loved then the universe will agree with you.
When you are ready and can see that your worth is intrinsic then that is when things will start to shift. Look at a stranger next time you're grabbing a coffee and ask yourself, do they deserve money, health and love? Look at your sibling or friend and ask yourself the same question. Now look in the mirror - do you deserve money, health and love?
You are worthy, because all humans are worthy - and you're not special enough or different enough to be the only human that isn't.
As you set your sights on launching your own business or finishing the qualification you started ages ago, consider this… the outcome of that endeavour does not equate your worth. Your worth remains the same whether you succeed or fail. Failing is an opportunity to grow and learn and continue moving forward, which all stems from the foundation of your worthiness.
Scroll down to learn how to build your self worth.
That sounds all well and good, but how do I get self worth if I haven't got it?
Let me tell you.
Your worth is intrinsic. It is about learning to believe that.
1. Do estimable things.
Self esteems grow when we do estimable actions. Be of service. Work hard. Be kind. Set yourself the goal of doing 3 estimable actions this week and note how you feel at the end of them.
2. Use evidence to prove the inner critic wrong.
The more of the above that you do, the more evidence you have to offer when arguing against that horrible, sabotaging voice in your head. They say you're not a good person? You've got proof you are. They say you are too stupid to complete that qualification? Well you've passed every assessment up until now. They say you're not worthy? You know you are.
3. Turn your fear into an affirmation.
I did this with my clients last week and it was so beautiful. Instead of 'I want to give it a go, but it probably won't work out' how about, 'I am proud of myself for taking the risk to try something I really care about' (& then add in a piece of evidence and you're good to go!).
4. Stop justifying your goal and prefacing it with a disclaimer - to yourself and others.
If you don't say your goal to yourself or to others with your full chest, then your self doubt is winning. In a bid to come from a loving place, not a fearful one, say it like you mean it. You're not being arrogant. You're not trying to predict the outcome. You are setting an intention and honouring your ambition. Instead of 'I'm going on a date but I am not that excited because I know it won't work out' try 'I am ready for a healthy relationship, to love and be loved, and I am proud of myself for putting myself out there. I know my worth and my boundaries'. No justifying and assuming the worst before it even happens!!!
You've now got 4 steps to improve your self worth and to build the foundation that will allow you to achieve ANY goal you set your mind to.
You have got this.
To take this to the next level I would love to help you uncover where the belief that it isn't possible for you comes from and heal that so you can move forward. If you want some support with reframing your mindset and creating a plan around your goal then let me know and we can arrange a time to go through this.
And don't forget, if staying accountable and consistent is something you're struggling with, we've got a beautiful growing community waiting to support you. From accountability calls to mega Masterclasses there are so many resources to support you.
