How to be of service in life and at work
What do I mean by being of service? It might sound a bit archaic or even patriarchal to suggest being of service. You could be forgiven for having images of a 1950s housewife being subservient. That is so far from what I am talking about it couldn’t be more opposite if it tried.
This is a spiritual mentality. It is to feel aligned with the universe and to understand that we are here to be vessels of Love. Connection is the great healer, while loneliness is a killer. To be of service to someone is allowing them to feel seen and heard, to empower another human being. It is an honour and a calling.
Remember, you have to put your own face mask on before helping another.
You must first take care of yourself to ensure you have the capability to be selfless. It is not about being a door mat. This is only possible when you have physical, emotional and spiritual health… and even strength. How can you invest in another when you feel spiritually bankrupt? The answer is you can’t unless you give from reserves you don’t have. And it is here that you will find yourself in great pain.
Life isn’t supposed to be painful! We are told that suffering is part of the human experience, and indeed it is a great teacher, but in fact the goal, the journey, is always to move towards freedom, joy and Love.
Striving to be actualised
Wikipedia describes self-actualisation as:
Self-actualization, in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, is the highest level of psychological development, where personal potential is fully realized after basic bodily and ego needs have been fulfilled.
This is the ambition from which my company is founded. In my spiritual practice being of service is part of fulfilling my personal potential and highest level of self-development. It is quite simply knowing that the greater good is more important than your own gratification.
How to be of service at work
In my mid-twenties when I was living a chaotic and destructive life, when I had depression and could not see or feel the light or greater Love of the universe, I would crawl to work. My feet would drag as I traveled the same route each day. Often I would have had little to no sleep, I’d be hungover and hurting. My face was puffy, my eyes were red - I was the epitome of spiritually bereft. I had no hope.
But I was supported. I was guided to a way of living that doesn’t hurt every day. Don’t get me wrong, doing ‘the work’ was excruciating but it was carrying me forward rather than allowing me to stagnantly revel in my suffering. I found a spiritual mentor and she had been where I was then. Through her experience she showed me how I could live my life differently.
This included in my career. When I got rigorously honest I admitted that I would literally just show up and expect to get paid. My ego was so big and so small that I would think they were lucky I was there at all and simultaneously that I would never be good enough anyway so why bother trying.
Before I reached this point, believe it or not, I was the golden child of my department in my previous company. I worked so hard and was propelled forward by the desperate seeking of my bosses validation. Even here, where I was seemingly doing well, I was operating from a place of giant and tiny ego, with no spiritual foundations. I was still burning the candle at both ends because I had no habits or practices that ensured I was filling up my cup or allowed me to exhale in a healthy and restorative way. I just gave, gave, gave and survived (albeit barely).
My spiritual mentor explained to me that on the most simple terms being employed is a contract. You provide a service and they pay you for that service. I was not owed my salary just because I showed up. That was a selfish and unloving attitude. So I tried her way. I decided I would try to be of service in some way everyday at my job. And my career catapulted forward! Who knew!? And craziest of all, I found working hard without vying for validation helped my self-esteem to no end. I started sleeping better and enjoyed my walk to work, chatting to the barista and basking in the sunshine (FYI this was in Sydney - not London!).
My new mentality was,
I will do my best at each task knowing it is for the greater good of the team. While doing so I will remember that my value and worth is not tied to the outcome or results. I will not be afraid to try, nor will I operate from a place of ego. I am grateful for the opportunity.
I want to serve you
As I work on my business it is easy to focus on the results and the income. But this is not why I started it. I took the leap to run The Actualisation Academy full time because of two reasons. Firstly to give meaning to my previous suffering, to utilise my experiences and to be of service to others as I hope to alleviate their pain - the same pain that I went through. And secondly because in my job I felt I was being forced to go against my values and I didn’t feel held, supported or like my needs were acknowledged or seen. That is simply not good enough for me anymore. Life is too short and I have learned too much to accept that, so I viewed it as a guide from the universe and an opportunity to cease.
What was the point in finding the courage to push through the pain and seek the light if I am going to keep it to myself? That is totally unsatisfying and redundant because it is not what life is about.
Remember freedom, joy and Love are the goal. Connection is healing. Being of service delivers a spiritual foundation for a solid self-esteem.
Holding these truths close, I have intuitively decided the topic of the free masterclass I am holding ahead of the launch of The A Club.
This Too Shall Pass
This masterclass is a foundation from which you will find the mindset to learn and to grow. If you are ready to have an open heart and an open mind today then please join me for this very special free masterclass. Your personal life can thrive, relationships deepen, love blossom, creativity soar all at the same time as your ambition firing up and success as defined by you being achieved.
I look forward to being of service to you and seeing you there.
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