Self-care during silly season
Ooft. December is a challenging month when it comes to wellness and self-care.Yet arguably it is a month when we need it most.
Our calendar is suddenly full to bursting. We're exhausted from all the socialising (as nice as it sounds in theory). It is darker and colder for those in the northern hemisphere. We are uninspired to honour our fitness routine. Work deadlines are mounting. People are drinking more, which might make you feel pressured to as well. And we're supposed to be having the most fun we've had all year.
If you're reading this then I believe you care about your wellbeing and your self-development. Why should that change because we're on the countdown to Christmas? I whole-heartedly believe in balance and deeply enjoying life. I talk about romanticising the small moments. What better backdrop to absorb the sparkles life has to offer than with tinsel and fairylights aplenty? But not if it means you are sacrificing your mental or physical wellbeing. So many people have their perfectionism and anxiety step into overdrive or they get sick because they over commit and burn out.
In the face of all these festivities here are my top 3 tips on how to care for yourself during December and some advice on how to implement them.
Self care in silly season
Tip 1: Boundaries - with yourself and others
Tip 2: Prioritise your health triangle
Tip 3: Choose consistency over motivation
Implementation
Take time to define what your boundaries are and implement them.
Some areas to consider; what are your limits in terms of how many nights out a week can you handle; do you have financial boundaries in terms of eating out and gift giving; how late are you willing to stay out; work deadlines ramp up during December - how can you prevent burning the candle at both ends; is it worth chatting with your boss or manager at the start of the month to try to preempt any rushed late nights; do you find it hard to spend too many consecutive days with your family - rather than letting a row ensue, perhaps you need to decide within yourself how long you're willing to stay and leave at that marker before tensions run high.
Implementing them can be difficult.
I truly believe that boundaries come from within. If you can keep the purpose of why you have set a boundary front and centre in your heart and mind then you can more gracefully have them affirmed by yourself and others.
Choose a daily affirmation that is to do with honouring your boundary. for example if you know you easily get run down but also are easily persuaded into staying for one more perhaps your affirmation can be ‘I know my limits and honour my needs’. Recounting this mantra will help you to stand strong in the face of that all too common sound "go on, stay, just for one more!". You don't need to get into a back and forth, you just honour that boundary for yourself because you deserve to be honoured. If anyone has an issue with you leaving at 11pm rather than 1am, you can either explain that you really want to be able to relax over Christmas and are cautious not to burn out or get a cold or whatever, or you choose not to explain and just back yourself. You don't actually owe anyone an explanation!
This brings me on nicely to honouring your health triangle. That is, mental, spiritual and physical health. If there is a time of year that can trick us into neglecting all three areas it is December! You cannot give from an empty cup. Just because life is busier than normal doesn't mean you should surrender all your best practices. In fact, I dare say they are needed now more than ever to prevent burn out. This is your self-preservation work!
That being said, life is to be enjoyed so if you decide to do a 10 minute morning stretch instead of a 45 minute workout then so be it. Connect with your physical form, but you can jig things around a bit so that you make space for a bit of frivolity!
Ask yourself this when negotiating what should take priority: will this serve me or deplete me? Then proceed with caution. Missing your usual HIIT class on a Tuesday evening to have your annual Christmas dinner with your school friends is an example of being flexible for a positive reason. We are allowed to exercise our maturity and decide, am I not showing up because I can't be bothered or am I choosing to fill my cup up through the power of connection?
Finally, choose consistency over motivation because let me tell you, consistently honouring your health triangle and your best practices like meditation or journalling even when life is super duper busy is going to serve you to no end! Motivation is not your friend because when you need it most it doesn't show up! Don't wait for it to kick in or you'll take to the get out of jail free card of ‘I’ll pick it up again in January'. No! You deserve better than that! Consistency is where you get results. Keep meditating if that is part of what makes you feel great. Don't stop showing up to that community club. Stick with your commitment to make a packed lunch and take it to work. Do what serves you despite life being busy! That is real self-care
If all of this sounds interesting to you and you'd like to learn more on all three tips or want support in implementation - I cover it all and so much more in my SOAR programme.
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