Not returning, but reimagining.
7 and a half weeks ago, I gave birth, 6 days later than my due date, to a wonderful and very calm little boy called Lennox. My labour was beyond what I could have hoped for - but that is a story for another time. Holding this little person who is so clearly at their beginning makes it irresistible to imagine the future. His, mine, ours. I have been turning inward and asking myself what I want it to look like and how I can impact and shape his. This has initiated reflection on my ambition. And that sparked my curiosity both personally and broadly which resulted in writing this newsletter.
The question of female ambition
What does it feel like? How does it change over time? How is it received in the wilderness?
We enter the workforce with the same amount of ambition as men, research shows. Does it wane over time? I have always been incredibly ambitious, something I have prided myself on rightly or wrongly. It is what got me through chronic burnout and bullish bosses. Where does that stem from? How did I first identify as ‘ambitious’?
I wonder if ambition is directly correlated to a deep understanding of and a motivating WHY. My why hasn’t been the healthiest in years gone by. It changed as I evolved. My why became about being of service. It has shifted yet again since becoming a mother.
In terms of society accepting ambitious women, broadly speaking women who are too focused on their careers are called neglectful of their families and those who focus on their families are considered less than for not achieving anything in the capitalistic sense. We can’t win, can we? But what’s new there?
How to ‘have it all’
I met a woman just before I had Lennox who is at the top of her department in a very reputable financial institution, coaches leaders across multiple industries too and has 4 children. I simply asked, “how do you do it?”. Her answer; “whatever I am focused on, I don’t feel guilty about the other things. If I can’t attend a school function because I simply have to work, I don’t feel guilty about it. If I choose to be with my children over the office, I don’t feel guilty about it - or apologise for it.” Admirable. Woman pursues ‘it all’ and doesn’t feel guilty or apologise - how novel!!!
"I don’t feel guilty"
Now that I have a little sprog (a very cute one, may I add) depending on me, my WHY has shifted yet again. It continues to be, being of service and helping women enjoy their lives with greater time freedom and purpose. But now it is also my son. He is part of my why - irrefutably.
During a group coaching call for SOAR one of my members who I admire greatly challenged me on my ambition with The Actualisation Academy (how cool that the types of conversations we have insight my clients to challenge me back?). I felt wobbly about it and was using self deprecating language. The truth is that this business is the only way I will honour my full why. My aspirations as a coach and a mother can come true by continuing, one step at a time, to realise The Actualisation Academy's full potential.
My questions to you (and to myself) are,
How has your ambition changed over time?
Have you reflected on this?
What does your ambition look like today?
Are you clear on your WHY?
What is your vision and how can you make it happen?
If you aren’t immediately sure on these answers, or are not happy with your truth when it comes to considering these questions, I would love to help you get that clarity and become fully aligned. If you hit reply I will support you - for free. Let's get connected with our why and realise our full ambitions, together.
If you are interested in finding out more about SOAR then join the waitlist and you will receive a little information. Part of understanding the way I want to run my business means not pushing a ‘hard sell’, but offering a solution. So I won't be inundating you trying to convince you - rather informing you and inviting you.
